MY BFF

Daddy always calls and asks how my "bff" is doing, and by this, he means how YOU are doing. We are best friends forever, Molly! Even when you are 13 and I don't let you go to the mall alone with your friends. Even when I don't let your boyfriend come over. And yes, even when I say, "No, you can't take the car". You are my best friend and I love you, no matter what. Daddy teases us with your nickname because we are ALWAYS together. I nurse you, I sleep with you, and I never leave your side.

Last night I left you for an hour! You were fine, of course, and I felt much better than I thought I would. I have confidence in your dad :) I mean, I left him alone with 2 kids for an hour (by the way, it was the hardest time of day for us when I left him - 7 pm)! Anyway, I stopped by the gym for part of a JAM class and dropped off a birthday gift for Lisa. When I came home I realized how much I missed you in that short time! I love my life. I love holding you and smelling your sweet head. I love watching Owen and Daddy and Ruby wrestle. There is nothing better than FAMILY on a Friday.

I should add in, too, that I left all chores alone. I did nothing all day but love on you. Time has been going by so fast and I feel like I need more Molly. I thought back to the day you were born. I remembered the way the doctor held you up for me to see you and I laughed because you had your little legs crossed - a true lady ;p It seems so long ago already. So I cuddled you. Warm, under two blankets, silence in the house. I took time for just my girl. And I finally did it. I finally cried. I finally let go of the fear and anxiety of having 2 children. I released my panic over jaundice, dehydration, pumping and nursing enough, heel pokes, etc. I cried because we made it. That first month is so terrifying for me. Even the hormones seemed to have let go of their hold on me and I could just FEEL a bit more. I could step back and see the BIG picture. The big picture? Its little you, Molly. MY DAUGHTER. Thank You God, thank You, thank You...I have my girl. I pray every night and thank Him for my blessings and I promise Him that I won't take any of it for granted. But I have. You are here. You are healthy. And when the world gets crazy I forget to say THANKS for all of it; there is SO much to say THANKS for, you know? So I am taking the time now, hoping God can listen for just a moment (I know He will!), to say THANKS for your healthy beating heart, your body that works and produces lots of dirty diapers, your fingers that softly fall on my chest as we nurse, your 10 toes that wrap around my fingers when I pretend to count them, your sturdy body that has grown within my own body, your big blue eyes that are blessed with vision (and the tear duct that is unclogged now!), your attached ear lobes like mine (ha!), your ears that passed your hearing test (now I know you can hear me whisper I LOVE YOU), and your lips,nose, and every other little perfect part of you. THANK YOU GOD, FOR MOLLY. I don't know what I did to deserve this perfection but I promise to raise her in Your love and with love and to surround her with love.


Mom