2 weeks

HAPPY 2 WEEK BIRTHDAY! The last 2 weeks have gone by so incredibly fast. We had to go to the Children's hospital after your dr. appt because your billirubin level went from an 8 to a 22.5. I was so scared for you. I hated going to the hospital. I hated seeing your name already on the door of the room. I just couldn't stop crying. As a mother, you feel like you need to protect your child from everything. I felt like I had let you down. Maybe I didn't nurse you enough, but you were always sleeping. Maybe your liver wasnt functioning properly. Perhaps it was because my milk took 6 days to come in. Maybe, maybe, perhaps, what if... ugh. Being a mom is SO hard. Your dad stayed for hours with us, but he needed to go home to get Owen to bed and get some rest because he had to go to work. I didnt want to be alone, so when your Auntie Amanda offered to keep me company - I took it. I'm normally the person that just sucks it up and deals with things alone but I couldnt do it this time. i couldnt sit in that room staring at my yellow baby in an incubator under bright lights. As soon as she walked in I started BAWLING. Probably in a way she hadnt seen since college. She brought food, drinks, movies, and even a trashy gossip magazine ;p Her support was wonderful. I stayed up almost that entire night - even when the nurses urged me to get some rest. But I wanted to nurse and pump as much as possible to help you push that junk out of your system. I worked so hard to make you better. By the next day we could go home. At your two week check up you gained all of your weight back!!! You are in the 75th precentile for weight and 50th for height. Keep growing strong, my love.

Thank you for an interesting week. You reminded me to take nothing for granted. I love you so so so much.

Mom